Our Grief

The Birth & Loss of Our Son

Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. Job 1:20

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For months, Lauren and I went to weekly appointments to check on our baby’s heart. This was a blessing and a curse. We heard the same news week after week. There was no change to his condition. At the same time, we got to see our baby every week. Because of our weekly scans, we got a front row seat to his growth and development.

Then, on May 25, 2023, Lauren’s water broke. We packed up and headed to the hospital, unsure about what would happen, but feeling an unusual sense of peace. After a long night, Christopher Joseph Friske was born at 6:53am on May 26, 2023.

Immediately, Christopher’s team prepared him to be moved to the NICU. After a few scans and evaluations, he was transported to the children’s hospital a few minutes away. We said goodbye as we prepared for a long night at the hospital.

The next morning, Lauren was discharged from the hospital. We went to the Ronald McDonald house in town and checked into our room. Anxious to see our son, we quickly made our way to the children’s hospital.

Christopher was in the PICU for a few days and was doing well, despite all our expectations. His heart was definitely deformed, but he was stable and happy. After a few days in the PICU, he was doing well enough to be moved to the NICU. For the first week of Christopher’s life, he was a happy, “normal” baby.

At a week old, Christopher’s aorta began tightening. This was a concerning development, as it meant we had to consider surgery. After a CT scan, they decided they needed to do a heart catheterization in order to get more information. They scheduled the procedure for Monday, and we anxiously spent that weekend with him not knowing what was coming next.

On Monday, Christopher was sedated and intubated for the procedure. Unfortunately, Christopher’s little body was hiding other significant issues and did not handle the procedure well. Not only did he have issues with his heart, but there were significant structural issues with his veins and arteries. Christopher had taken a turn for the worse, and surgery was now off the table. After much prayer and consideration, we knew it was time for us to let Christopher go.

Christopher went home to be with the Lord at 9:51pm on June 7, 2023.

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In Psalm 57, David writes,

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge;
in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by.

I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.

He will send from heaven and save me; he will put to shame him who tramples on me. Selah
God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness!

We weren’t ready to let him go, but we knew he was going straight into the arms of our faithful, loving, most high God.

Like Job, we grieved our loss, but we also worshipped the Lord. In our grief, we chose to rejoice in God’s goodness.

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This is part two of my CHD Awareness Week series. To read the previous entry, click the button below:

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